


The Best Medicine

by wreathed



Category: British Comedy RPF
Genre: Casual Sex, F/M, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-09
Updated: 2019-03-09
Packaged: 2019-11-14 12:02:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18052157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wreathed/pseuds/wreathed
Summary: From the prompt: Victoria Coren/Jimmy Carr, laughing during sex.





	The Best Medicine

“Jimmy,” sighs Victoria as she looks up towards the ceiling to try and suppress a fresh bubble of laughter. “If this is going to work, you’re going to have to occasionally shut up.”

They’re naked on her bed and she’s been gently riding him for ages. He’s been drifting in and out of voicing filthy nonsense, and she had been close to coming when he had suddenly run his mouth on a horrifying one-liner she has a sneaking suspicion was part of the final section of his work-in-progress tour show; she had bent forward in frustrated laughter, and – perversely – he had _smiled_ as he had reached forward to place his hand over the skin below her belly to feel the shudder of her laughter where they were joined.

They’ve been doing this – having sex – for a few weeks now, whenever both of them have the time.

Victoria eases herself off, sitting on the edge of the bed, and motions for Jimmy to sit up too. She keeps an eye on the condom, but he’s still hard enough that it doesn’t look like it’s going to slip off any time soon. “Is this some sort of orgasm denial thing? Do _not_ make a joke about your Catholic upbringing.”

He looks genuinely bewildered, and his expression almost makes her start laughing again.

“Alright. You don’t need to try so hard. You don’t need to prove it; you know you’re funny. You get paid a great deal to be funny. This is a different sort of scenario.”

“Wait. You’re saying I’m _not_ get paid for this,” Jimmy responds, frowning deeply.

She wants to laugh at that, a little, because it’s funny (damn it; professional comedians), but it’s hardly that good and she doesn’t want to give him the satisfaction. Instead, she puts her hand on his thigh.

“Means you’re thinking too much, if you can still make jokes. I want you to be out of your mind, coherency-wise. I don’t need you for me to have a good time, but if you’re here instead of it being just me and my imagination, I don’t want to be having to do much thinking. Yes?”

Jimmy looks flushed – whether from arousal or embarrassment, it’s hard to tell, but when Victoria looks down at his lap she sees his cock looking barely less enthusiastic than when they were actually fucking.

“You’d be surprised,” Jimmy says throatily, his gaze drifting thoughtfully across the curves of her body. “You know, when people say men can’t multi-task. Men can be horny and disgusted at the same time. Men can be horny and fucking _murderous_.”

“Hm,” Victoria says shortly. “You get the sense – for those men – that one feeling is feeding the other rather than that they’ve self-actualised to the point of excellent compartmentalisation ability.” 

“See, that’s funny,” Jimmy says, although he’s straight-faced. “How come you get to do that?”

Victoria likes to let go when she can, and she likes how much Jimmy is attracted to her. Jimmy’s obsessed with working out how to build the verbal switch that makes an entire auditorium convulse and she hopes, given the chance, he’ll be just as dedicated to calculating what works that well for her when they’re in bed.

“I know when it’s the right time and place,” Victoria says simply. She closes her hand around his sizeable erection.

“How do you want me?” Jimmy says, breathing hard, eyes dark.

“Well,” Victoria says. “You don’t have to always ask me what we should do, for a start.” 

“You’re not going to ask me what I’m into, then,” he replies, and Victoria squeezes him hard for that. He _must_ by now be delaying this on purpose. He’s not that dense. He got a first.

She raises her eyebrows. “Being mocked for having a tiny dick? Are you into that?”

“Nope,” Jimmy says. “ _Now_ who’s being ridiculous?”

Victoria grins. “Thank fuck. I was with someone once who was and it was _exhausting_ trying to come up with new insults all the time. Thing is, he was actually quite big, so I had to pretend to be really underwhelmed when I was actually this close to wincing.”

Jimmy’s laughter fills the room again, which is gratifying, but not in the way she wants right now.

Her hand is still on his cock, hot in her fist. “What do you know,” she says. “Laughing and being mocked but still ready to go off at a drop of a hat.”

“Shut up,” he says, which she thinks is somewhat hypocritical, and he kisses her deeply, fingers falling over her nipples and then to the splay of her thighs in a way that makes coiled heat unfurl within her.

His breath is soft against her ear as he leans in. “You can’t wait for it, you need it so badly,” he murmurs. “I’m going to give it to you and you’re going to beg me not to stop.”

Victoria swallows as she feels her stomach swoop pleasantly low in her belly. “Better,” she manages, wanting to be encouraging but also wanting to continue along this path of starting to think about nothing much at all.

“Hands and knees,” he says, voice low, and when she gets in position and his hand caresses her arse just as he takes her in one deep filthy slide she moans loudly, face heating up. He gasps out a laugh, not unkindly, at her keen reaction, but the laughter feels different now, and then he traces his fingertips slowly forward until he’s circling her cunt and all their words stop.

*

Afterwards, they giggle happily about it from under the duvet. It’s nice.

**Author's Note:**

> Because the prompt reminded me of [myth no. 2](http://www.gq-magazine.co.uk/article/sex-myths-victoria-coren).


End file.
